WILMINGTON, DE — With the potential advent of World War 3, President Biden headed to his garage in Delaware to try to find where he had filed the nuclear codes.

"They've got to be around here somewhere," said Biden as began rummaging around in the trunk of his Corvette. "Who knew those were actually important?"

According to sources, President Biden was initially furious when Iran's attack interrupted his beach vacation. After initially heading towards D.C., Biden quickly realized he might need the nuclear codes stashed somewhere in his garage. "Turn around boys," yelled Biden to Secret Service. "We got to make a little nuclear pit stop, if you take my meaning."

At publishing time, President Biden was heard calling Hunter to ask if he had done something with that big red file labeled "NUCLEAR CODES, DO NOT LOSE".