Biden Administration Stations Circus Clowns, Jugglers, Lion Tamers Outside Trump Trial
U.S. · May 28, 2024 ·

NEW YORK, NY — Police have diverted traffic away from Centre St. to make way for a legion of circus folk that has turned up outside the Manhattan Criminal Courthouse for Donald Trump's hush money trial. Sources confirm that the Biden administration is directly responsible for the clowns, jugglers, and lion tamers that now roam the street.

"Wow! What a circus!" said Charlie Danvers, a local man who'd been following the news on Trump's criminal trial. "How do they fit that many clowns in a single car? Hilarious!"

Young children from all over Manhattan have converged on the location to see the excitement. Hot dog carts have been replaced with a line of stands selling popcorn and cotton candy. No peanuts are permitted, for fear of attracting elephants.

Joe Biden reportedly invited the best circus performers in the world to perform outside the Trump trial as closing arguments began.

"Daddy, why is that clown talking?" one young boy was heard asking his father as Robert DeNiro began speaking.

"This city is accommodating; we make room for clowns," DeNiro said while wearing comically oversized pants.

"And elections? Forget about it!" DeNiro continued to uproarious laughter. "That's over! That's done! If he gets in — I can tell you right now — he will never leave."

Everyone in attendance agreed that Robert DeNiro was the funniest clown of all.

At publishing time, local reports indicate Democratic Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez sadly lost her life during the event after trying to pet one of the lions.

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