U.S.—Presidential candidates often struggle to juggle their busy campaign schedules with their personal lives, and this is especially true of Bernie Sanders. The socialist senator has had to divide his time between campaigning and returning to his many, many houses to shout at kids to get off his many, many lawns.
Some days, Sanders gives three speeches, then flies in his private jet to one of his myriad homes to shout at kids who have encroached upon one of his many lawns.
"Sometimes I don't even have time to stop -- I simply have to fly over my houses in my jet and shout at them with a megaphone," he said, wiping sweat from his brow. "It's a tough life."
"Hey, kid! Get off my south lawn! And you on the north lawn -- get out of here, whippersnapper!"
The Bernie campaign has even developed an app Sanders sometimes uses to shout at kids on all of his lawns remotely.
"You might say I have a plethora of houses," he added, chuckling. "It's one of the many benefits of being a popular socialist living in a capitalist country."
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.