AZKABAN—After refusing to back down on his support for allowing felons to vote, presidential candidate Bernie Sanders made a campaign stop at Azkaban Prison earlier this week.
Sanders attempted to drum up support among the convicted felons with his policies. While most of the wizards held at Azkaban are from England, Sanders is hopeful that he will one day be able to give foreigners the right to vote as well. The Sanders campaign, therefore, says convicted dark wizards are an important voting bloc for them.
"We must give felons the right to vote, even the dark wizards being tortured by Dementors for the rest of their lives!" Sanders said to cheers from the prisoners who were not currently having all joy sucked from their faces. "If we believe in democracy, we believe in giving the right to vote to those who tortured others with the Cruciatus Curse, the Imperius Curse, and of course, the Killing Curse."
"To those who would take away the right to vote from these precious members of a democracy, I say, 'Avada Kedavra!'"
Sanders then touched a copy of The Communist Manifesto, which turned out to be a portkey, to warp himself to his next campaign stop, Shawshank State Penitentiary.