Politics
'Believe Women' Slogan Updated To 'Believe Creepy Old Men With Dementia'

U.S.—As Joe Biden seals the Democratic nomination, the Me Too movement has unveiled its new slogan, "Believe Creepy Old Men With Dementia."

The "Believe Women" slogan that was so popular just a couple years ago is said to be obsolete now that Democrats need to support a handsy old man with dementia. So, the movement quietly updated its slogan, replacing it with the updated, more accurate "Believe Creepy Old Men With Dementia."

"If a handsy old guy who likes to sniff women's hair in broad daylight says he didn't do something inappropriate, then he didn't," said Alyssa Milano. "It's that simple. We hear you, Joe, and we believe you. Don't let the accusers get you down. You do you." Milano then attacked women who don't believe Joe as "Trump enablers" and "science deniers."

The slogan will also be emphasized with hand clap emojis so you know that it is the highest moral truth: "Believe 👏 Creepy 👏 Old 👏 Men 👏 With 👏 Dementia 👏." Another tactic will be to repeat the slogan as many times as Twitter will allow in 280 characters, so you know that it is irrefutable.

"If you don't believe everything Joe Biden says, you hate women."

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