Church
Baptists Lose Hundreds Of Pounds Thanks To Canceled Potlucks

U.S.—As churches across the country have canceled their potlucks for the past four months, one group has seen a positive side effect: Baptists, who have lost up to 200 pounds as they can't scarf down casseroles every Sunday.

Unable to chow down on three or four plates of casseroles and guzzle down gallons of sweet tea after church every Sunday, Baptists are getting lean and fit. Most other denominations gained weight during quarantine, but since Baptists consume an average of 10,000 calories per potluck, they actually lost weight.

"It's been really great for my health," said Baptist pastor Jack Wilderbean as he tightened his belt another notch. "I kept eating Ms. Ethel's tuna casserole every Sunday -- she'd make a special one just for me in addition to the shared potluck casserole." Wilderbean lost over 200 pounds since church services were canceled a few months ago, a phenomenon that doctors are calling "nothing short of a miracle."

Unfortunately, youth pastors have begun starving to death, as the church potluck was their only source of food every week.

There are 48 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.