U.S. — Entertainment fanatics will soon have something revolutionary to look forward to, as an awesome new streaming service will record movie streams onto shiny discs and give consumers the opportunity to buy them and own them forever.
The amazing new platform promises to let movie lovers purchase their favorite films and television shows, have them mailed to their homes, where they can have physical control over them for the rest of their lives.
"It's something completely different from what you're used to," said the company's press release. "Gone are the days of having to ‘download' a movie to watch on your flight or having to connect to the ‘internet' to watch movies. Our new streaming service will offer you the amazing new method of having movies loaded onto shiny, silver discs that you can own forever. And get this: you won't even need an internet connection to watch. Cool, right?"
With the new service, users can build vast physical libraries of their favorite movies and shows to watch whenever they want. "You're going to love it," the press release continued. "You'll buy these electronic devices that will play the movies on the discs. No buffering, no issues with connection speed. We'll even add special behind-the-scenes features and extras on the discs. We'll even put all the chapters of a movie franchise in one boxed set!"
At publishing time, the company announced future plans to potentially gather large collections of these discs into large "stores" where customers could come to "rent" them for a few days.
Coming soon to a Democrat-controlled city near you!
