SAN FRANCISCO - The National Guard has been called to California's Golden City to neutralize a 600-foot-tall Katie Porter, who is apparently rampaging her way through San Francisco.
Porter, a frontrunner in California's gubernatorial race, reportedly began roaring and growing to an unusual size after a reporter asked her a question.
"You didn't ask her a question, did you? Oh no! She hates that!" cried Mayor Daniel Lurie as the hulking monstrosity smashed a giant hole in the the Transatlantic tower. "There's no stopping her now! Run! Run for your lives!"
"BLLAAAAWWWRRRGGHHHHH!" responded Porter before swallowing a cable car. "KATIE MAAAD! KATIE SMAAAAASH!"
Sources say the problems began a few days ago, when a journalist asked her a question about how she planned to win over voters. Porter responded by screeching like a Nazgûl and growing several feet. Then later, a child asked Porter if she knew where the bathroom was, causing her to completely lose her mind and expand to a hulking 600-foot monster.
"KATIE NO LIKE QUESTIONS!" roared Katie. "BRAAWWWWWWRRRR!"
At time of publishing, Porter was seen swatting National Guard helicopters out of the sky and was still polling in 1st place for California Governor.
