U.S. - In the midst of a controversy over Ilhan Omar's inflammatory comments regarding Israel, her subsequent non-apologetic apologies, and her immediate return to saying anti-Semitic things, the United States of America has quietly listed the state of Minnesota for auction on eBay.

The starting bid was set at $130 when the auction went live. Canada quickly bid up the price to the low $2,000s, but it was later revealed that it was just Prime Minister Justin Trudeau having a few too many strawberry daiquiris Wednesday evening, and the nation's bids were rescinded. Several extremist anti-Israel groups bid for the territory as well but accidentally spent all their money on anti-Semitic signs and T-shirts, and so were forced to bow out of the bidding.

At publishing time, the U.S. had settled for throwing Minnesota up on OfferUp, asking for "$20 or trade obo."