U.S. — As President Donald Trump announced that the U.S. military had engaged in a bombing attack on Iranian nuclear sites, Americans across the country were surprised to learn that we weren't already bombing Iran.
After years of warnings and posturing and months of attempted negotiations between the Trump administration and the Iranian government, Americans expressed shock that there was a nation in the Middle East that wasn't already being bombed by the U.S.
"Wait, we haven't been bombing them this whole time?" asked American citizen Dean Jasper. "It's in the Middle East, right? Don't we bomb all of those countries at least once a year or something like that? I could've sworn it's just what the U.S. does as part of our regular routine."
Sources within the Pentagon were also reportedly surprised to learn that bombing Iran was something that wasn't already being done. "I'm not sure how we could've missed that," said one high-ranking general who asked to remain anonymous. "It's standard for us to just blanket all Middle Eastern countries with bombs on a regular basis, so it's strange that we've let Iran fall through the cracks for this long. We're working hard to make up for it now."
At publishing time, insiders had confirmed that, in an effort to compensate for the oversight of not already bombing Iran, Pentagon officials had ordered U.S. military operations to bomb all other prominent Islamic nations, including Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Yemen, Oman, and the United Kingdom.
These British police officers are keeping the streets safe from dangerous weapons.
