U.S. — In one sweeping act to make good on his original campaign promise, President Joe Biden left the White House today, allowing the United States of America to finally "build back better."
Biden departed office today to make room for incoming President Donald Trump, a move experts predicted would give America the opportunity to fulfill Biden's pledge to improve the country.
"This accomplishes what he said he would do," said one White House source. "Joe Biden campaigned on a promise to help America ‘build back better,' and by him finally leaving the White House, the country will now have a chance to climb back out of the festering, decaying pit he plunged it into over the last four years. Biden is ushering in a new, brighter future for the United States. By leaving."
In a closing statement to the media before boarding the Marine One helicopter, Biden was proud of his achievements. "I'm a man of my word, folks," he said. "I said we needed to ‘build back better.' And having said that, I spent the last few years utterly destroying America in every imaginable way, which will make it possible to make things better. If I had made things really great at the beginning, there would have been nothing to build back. You're welcome. End of speech. Board helicopter."
Political analysts said the successes of the incoming Trump administration would owe a great deal to the miserable failures of the Biden administration.
At publishing time, Biden had also taken credit for the coming period of peace in the Middle East and around the world thanks to the period of unrest, volatility, and war he advanced around the globe during his presidency.
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