BEVERLY HILLS, CA—The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has stripped Schindler's List of its Best Motion Picture award for not having enough LGBTQ+ characters, people of color, and other oppressed groups.
"Schindler's List would have been a great movie if it just had a dozen transgendered characters," said Le'Jon de Froofroo, spokesperson for the Academy. "As it is, there are just a bunch of Jews and Germans -- very privileged races."
"Also, the movie has Nazis -- this is the current year, for goodness' sake!"
Steven Spielberg has been ordered by the Academy to re-release the film with an unnecessary LGBTQ+ side plot, a gay roommate for Schindler, and a song and dance number set to a Lady Gaga song over the end credits if he wishes to re-earn the Academy Award. Otherwise, it will be re-awarded to Brokeback Mountain.
This is just the first Oscar winner to be stripped of its award, as the Academy has plans to strip the award from over 95% of the winners and give them all to Brokeback Mountain.