Politics
Abraham Lincoln To Be Removed From Penny, Replaced With BLM Fist

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Joe Biden's Treasury Secretary-designee Janet Yellen has announced plans to remove Abraham Lincoln from the penny and replace the racist, anti-BLM president with the Black Lives Matter fist.

Starting next year, all pennies will have the racist president scrubbed from existence and replaced with the much less racist symbol of the far-left movement.

"Abraham Lincoln never once said the words 'Black Lives Matter,' and so must be canceled," Yellen said. "As my first act in office, I will demand he be removed from the penny, the five-dollar bill, and anywhere else his racist presence rears its ugly, hatted head."

"Yes, he freed the slaves -- but he didn't raise his fist and say 'Black Lives Matter!' while he did it. Cancel this man."

The Lincoln Memorial will be plowed down and replaced with a statue of Karl Marx, who was in no way racist and definitely would have said Black Lives Matter if he knew more black people, sources confirmed.

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