U.S. — In a tense exchange with Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance, ABC news anchor Martha Raddatz argued that the tragedy of September 11th had been way overblown since it only involved a handful of buildings.
"They only hit three buildings, and you're calling this a major issue?" asked Raddatz, incredulous. "You realize I can literally count on one hand how many planes were hijacked. Stop making 9/11 out to be such a big deal."
Senator Vance vainly attempted to argue that terrorists hijacking planes and crashing them into buildings was still a serious issue, even if only a few buildings were hit. "I don't know how to put this more plainly, Martha, but 9/11 was bad," said Vance. "The number of buildings involved is really not the determinant of how serious an issue is. I can't believe I'm having to explain this."
Despite Vance's best efforts, Raddatz remained unmoved. "You're blowing a tiny little issue like 9/11 way out of proportion for nothing but cynical political gain," said Raddatz. "Classic Republican strategy, making mountains out of little molehills, like a mere TWO towers. Disgusting."
At publishing time, Raddatz had sat with her mouth agape for thirty minutes after Vance asked if January 6th was therefore not a big deal since only one building was involved.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
