Thousands of people have gathered in Augusta, Georgia, this weekend to watch the Masters Tournament, with millions more set to spend their weekends watching it on television. While few things can match the frenzy and thrill of watching golf, they do exist.
The Babylon Bee has put together the following list of things you can do this weekend that are somehow more exciting than golf:
Monitoring your fingernail growth: All the silence and anticipation of golf, but with the miracle of biology.
Attending an insurance seminar: It'll only take nine hours of your time, plus you'll get a free dinner.
Catching up on Michelle Obama's podcast: Dozens of fans can't be wrong.
Enjoying your Windows "3D Pipes" screensaver: The pinnacle of digital entertainment.
Binging six hours of those gross pimple-popping videos on Instagram: You'll kill some time and lose some weight due to all the vomiting you're sure to do.
Observing people at your local Walmart: This is particularly popular among horror fans.
Checking out YouTube videos of 40-year-old men unboxing Star Wars action figures: It's fascinating to have a peek into the lives of the most disturbed members of society.
Viewing the director's cut of Cory Booker's 25-hour filibuster: Now with 12 minutes of previously unseen footage.
Watching someone else watch golf: It's like the Inception form of watching golf.
If you're unable to catch any of the Masters, any of the activities listed above are guaranteed to instantly turn any weekend into a barrel of fun. What else is more exciting than watching golf? Throw your suggestions in the comments below.
Meet Juan. He came to this country with a dream to commit crime. This is his story.
