President Trump just defunded NPR... but at what cost? A survey of leading economists and media analysts may surprise you.
The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of severe ramifications of NPR being defunded:
NPR may have to resort to reporting real news: A clear violation of their freedom of speech.
No one will know the plight of Mongolian yak farmers: How will people learn if they are not told?
There will only be 297 media outlets pushing state propaganda: So few options.
Forced to drop the "N" and "P" and just be known as "R": Years of brand building wasted.
Fewer job opportunities for people with boring, low-register voices: The job market will become oversaturated by women with glasses who whisper.
The likelihood of hearing "Pink Pony Club" in your car will increase by 20%: This is a dangerous result no one took into account.
NPR programs will now be interrupted every two minutes with commercials for hemp muumuus and Birkenstocks: Get ready for ads targeting NPR's most loyal listeners.
Millions of Americans will be rendered unable to sleep: The loss of the country's most popular sleep aid will have devastating effects.
From now on, only a few things will be considered: Cutbacks have consequences.
The world as everyone knows it is about to end. Start prepping your doomsday bunkers now. What other side effects do you expect from NPR being defunded? Post them in the comments.
Brynnleigh is on a mission to stop America from becoming… well, America.
