Juneteenth is a beautiful celebration of the end of slavery in the United States — but what is the best way for the melanin-challenged among us to show that you're hip to the cause?
Fortunately for you caucasians out there, we at the Babylon Bee have compiled a sure-fire list of ways for you to demonstrate your support for your black fellow citizens this Juneteenth!
Say "What is up my brotha from anotha motha" to greet any black person you meet: They will instantly know you're like family.
Wear one of those kente cloths and kneel for 8 minutes in the middle of the road: Nothing says you care like making the whole neighborhood late for work.
Invite a black friend over to watch Roots together: Then beg forgiveness and ask them to absolve you of your white guilt afterward. They love this!
Purchase a Finn action figure: Because nothing screams "ALLY" like a stormtrooper of color.
Spend months trying to learn how to clap on rhythm to gospel music: Just like this — 🎶🎵🎶I'll 👏🏻Flyyyyy👏🏻👏🏻Awaaaaaayyyy👏🏻 Oh Glooooory👏🏻👏🏻 🎶🎵 Awww, don't worry, you'll get it eventually!
Paint a George Floyd mural on your black neighbor's driveway: They will be so surprised and thankful.
Every time you see a black person, go right up to them and whisper "I see you" in their ear: Incredibly reassuring.
Stand stock-still while smiling weirdly during a Juneteenth concert after aides accidentally switch your uppers for some edibles: Tried and true!
Well, there you go — hopefully this helps you get into the Juneteenth spirit this year! Now go get that Finn action figure!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
