We've all felt it — the economy is in rough shape. In times like these, it may be helpful to consider alternate forms of government and how they may benefit you and your family. Take communism, for example. Now there's a governing philosophy. Yes, it gets a bad rap, but certain lines of work absolutely thrive under communism.
The Babylon Bee is here to brighten your spirits with a list of potential jobs you can consider under the coming communist regime.
- Mass grave digger: Look at how much work these guys had back under Stalin. Job security, baby!
- Bear wrestler: There's a fair chance you'll end up exiled to some harsh wilderness. Sharpening those bear-wrestling skills will not only keep you alive but also make you a valuable entertainment attraction.
- Snitch: With so many freedom-loving dissenters running around, someone has to rat on them. Do your part.
- Mine worker: This could have taken up 6 of the eight slots on the list. Lots of mine workers, folks.
- Replacement mine worker for the guy who just died: You're up next, comrade!
- Starvation coordinator: With millions of people starving, someone has to keep things organized so everyone can die off in a slow, painful — but organized — way.
- Seamstress who only makes gray clothes: You can be the one making the official uniform of the ruling party. Congratulations!
- Window breaker: Followed closely by another hot job — window fixer.
- Professional horrifying example of what happens to traitors: This one is physically demanding, but there are millions of positions available.
See? The job market under communism won't be that bad. Before you know it, you'll be toiling away for the benefit of the State.
NOT SATIRE: You and I can't allow socialists and communists to indoctrinate the next generation of young minds in the United States.
The Babylon Bee and the Foundation for Economic Education (FEE) have a solution.
FEE is a non-profit organization responsible for teaching MILLIONS of young people about the principles of free market capitalism, entrepreneurship, hard work, and individual liberty.
Please help us defeat socialism in the classroom and teach young people about the values of liberty. Our goal is to raise $9,823 from Bee readers. Can you help?
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