The presidential inauguration is coming up, and we're here to educate our readers! To help make you a more informed American citizen, we researched and found the 7 most important facts about the presidential inauguration you probably didn't know. 

 

• Inaugurations were invented by slave owners. Bet you didn't know that, did you? Participation in a presidential inauguration is LITERALLY endorsing slavery. It's important we remember this as Biden is inaugurated this week. It might as well be a KKK meeting. 

 

• The inauguration is basically just a Presidential initiation. Expect a lot of hazing from Trump and Pence, such as stuffing Biden in a locker or making him chug some nasty liquid while they wear hoods and recite the "Presidential Fraternity Chant." 

 

• On the day of the inauguration, Trump has two more chances to overturn the election. The first is if he stands up and yells "I OBJECT!" when Chief Justice Roberts says "speak now, or forever hold your peace." If Trump fails to do that, he will have to recite the reverse inauguration incantation before Biden can complete the spell, solidifying his rule as President.

 

• To show he is the President for all Americans, Biden will swear in on copies of both The Communist Manifesto and Mein Kampf since those books fully represent the entire ideology of the opposing political views in America.

 

• It's frowned on to eat a large hoagie while taking the oath of office. Teddy Roosevelt was the last president to do this.

 

• According to trusted sources, it's totally common for the President to be inaugurated while sitting in a rocking chair, confused about what's going on, forced to be woken up multiple times, and his speech to be cut short. Don't worry-- this is completely normal! 

 

• Biden is known to be the most beloved candidate in American history. Officials are expecting a record crowd of 30,000 fully armed Biden supporters at this year's event.

 

That's all you need to know! Enjoy the festivities!