U.S. — History was made this week as five late night talk show hosts — Jimmy Fallon, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, John Oliver, and someone named Seth Myers — announced they were joining forces on one podcast amid the Hollywood writers' and actors' strikes in a desperate attempt to come up with a single funny joke.
"We're not sure it's even possible," said Fallon, the host of The Tonight Show. "Without entire teams of writers coming up with jokes for us every day, we're all completely helpless. We haven't had to be funny on our own in years. We thought our best chance at coming up with at least one joke was to put all of our minds together."
Despite working on the podcast around the clock for several days, the hosts have had no luck. "It's starting to look like a lost cause," Colbert said. "This podcast was intended to be a revolutionary comedy team-up, but it's slowly turning into a group therapy session while we all come to the realization that we can't make anyone laugh. I wanted to break out the dancing syringes, but they're all on strike. Whenever I couldn't get laughs before, I could fall back on my vaccine propaganda. What am I supposed to do now?"
The podcast was expected to continue until either a successful joke was made or the world as we know it has come to an end, whichever happens first.
At publishing time, the hosts were rumored to be regretting their decision to not invite former talk show host Conan O'Brien, which would have sufficiently camouflaged their lack of comedy talent.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.