Brought to you by: The Great Commission Strategic Card Game
Countless families have been destroyed by games of Monopoly gone awry. Don't let that happen to you.
As a public service, The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of fun activities that are less likely to destroy your family:
Give your kids medieval weapons and tell them the winner gets 20 Robux: There can only be one survivor.
Hide and seek in the old swinging axe factory: An adventure no one will ever forget.
Play a game of Sorry! and every time you send your kids' pawns back to the start, you yell, "In 'yo face, suckaaaa!": Adversity makes kids stronger.
Acting out classic Bible stories: Onan, Lot and his daughters, Ehud and King Eglon... so many favorites.
A Somalian food-eating contest: Whoever keeps it all down the longest becomes mayor of Minneapolis.
Lure your brother into a field and kill him: It's especially satisfying if God accepted your brother's sacrifice but not yours.
Russian Roulette: Kids need to be introduced to the classics.
Storm Area 51 as a family: It's heavily guarded, but just imagine the adrenaline rush.
Family speed boat trip transporting cocaine from Venezuela to Florida: If everyone somehow lives through it, they'll have an amazing story to tell for the rest of their lives.
Taking turns playing William Tell and shooting apples off each other's heads with arrows: See how many successful shots the family can string together before tragedy strikes.
Play a game of Diplomacy where the winner gets the full inheritance: Raising the stakes makes every game better.
An exciting game of "Guess Which Kid Is Adopted": It's a secret identity party game where one child learns they aren't related to everyone else by blood. Fun for the whole family.
With so many fun activities listed above, you'll have no need to put family harmony at risk with a dangerous game of Monopoly. What other family activities would you suggest? Post them in the comments.
NOT SATIRE: Leave those competitive family games behind with The Great Commission Strategic Card Game, a Cooperative (or solo) strategy game where you take on the challenge of leading a church in the tumultuous Roman era. Manage diverse personalities, each contributing their own unique abilities and gifts, but also bringing their struggles with sin, conflict or even demonic opposition. The goal is to share the gospel and assemble your church before your time runs out!
It's a tableau-builder with resource management, engine-building and multi-use cards. Sam Healey from The Dice Tower reviewed it, saying, "I feel like I've just reached the tip of the iceberg with all of the different combinations there are [...] I really enjoy games like that, and this one really knocked it out of the park [...] It's simple, it's streamlined, it's fun [...] it's thematic, it's aesthetic, I can't think of any cons". Reviews on Boardgame Geek also give it a rather respectable aggregate of 8.5/10!
The bold contemporary artwork included on the cards is all drawn from The Acts of the Apostles: Word for Word Bible Comic. You can buy the game directly from the Bible Comic website with the 10% discount code BABYLONBEE10 for the next seven days. (RRP $44.99).
Trump sings your favorite Christmas songs!
