As artificial intelligence continues to evolve at a rapid rate, many people have found themselves wondering how far it will go and how many human beings will lose their jobs to the machines.
The Babylon Bee has consulted with highly placed tech sources to come up with the following list of jobs that will be safe from being replaced by A.I.:
A.I. Salesman: Totally safe.
Five-Fingered Hand Model: Despite its ability to learn, A.I. will never know how to generate a human hand with the correct amount of fingers.
Starbucks Barista: Artificial intelligence will never be capable of misspelling your name with this level of consistency.
DMV Employee: A cold, emotionless robot would be far too warm and personable.
Strawberry Picker: These positions can only be filled by Mexicans.
Taylor Lorenz: A.I. can't achieve this level of stupidity.
WNBA Player: The artificial intelligence models would make too many layups and free throws.
Church Sound Guy: A.I. actually knows how to use a sound board, which is disqualifying.
MLB Umpire: Artificial intelligence hasn't figured out how to make that many bad calls.
Babylon Bee writer: At least for another few weeks. Does anyone have any job openings?
If you are working in any of the jobs listed above, kick back and rest easy. If not… go ahead and start learning to code. Until A.I. takes all of the coding jobs. What other jobs do you think will be safe? Post them in the comments below.
Brynnleigh is on a mission to stop America from becoming… well, America.
