10 Fun Places To Hide Your Gold
Sponsored · Oct 8, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

Brought to you by: Preserve Gold

As any dragon, leprechaun, and eccentric jewelry collector will tell you, it can be difficult to find a good place to hide your gold. Some poor saps put it in a safe deposit box or a vault, not realizing that any two-bit gold thief will look in those places first.

The Babylon Bee conducted an extensive survey to put together the following list of 10 perfect places to stash your gold:

  1. In a pot at the end of the rainbow: It's so clichè that no one will even bother looking.

  2. In a pot at the start of the rainbow: Have you ever heard anyone even mention the "start" of a rainbow? Exactly.

  3. In the Great Hall of Thráin: A great hiding place, but good luck getting it back from the dwarves.

  4. Behind all the Amazon boxes your wife says she'll eventually return: You can rest assured that it will never be seen.

  5. Under your pillow: That way no one can steal it without waking you up.

  6. In a shoebox clearly labeled "NOT MY GOLD": Who's going to check a box that says it doesn't have any gold in it?

  7. Inside the bathroom walls of a megachurch: Though you might have some trouble finding any space that isn't occupied by stacks of secret cash.

  8. The White House Oval Office: It's vacant right now, so you might as well use it.

  9. A WNBA game without Caitlin Clark: It's always smart to hide your valuables in a place where no people go.

  10. In Joe Biden's garage, next to his Corvette: As the Department of Justice said, it's a safe and secure place.

Do yourself a favor and take your gold out of that state-of-the-art safe behind your portrait of Donald Trump and put it in one of the places listed above.


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