10 Fun Places To Hide Your Gold
Sponsored · Oct 8, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

Brought to you by: Preserve Gold

As any dragon, leprechaun, and eccentric jewelry collector will tell you, it can be difficult to find a good place to hide your gold. Some poor saps put it in a safe deposit box or a vault, not realizing that any two-bit gold thief will look in those places first.

The Babylon Bee conducted an extensive survey to put together the following list of 10 perfect places to stash your gold:

  1. In a pot at the end of the rainbow: It's so clichè that no one will even bother looking.

  2. In a pot at the start of the rainbow: Have you ever heard anyone even mention the "start" of a rainbow? Exactly.

  3. In the Great Hall of Thráin: A great hiding place, but good luck getting it back from the dwarves.

  4. Behind all the Amazon boxes your wife says she'll eventually return: You can rest assured that it will never be seen.

  5. Under your pillow: That way no one can steal it without waking you up.

  6. In a shoebox clearly labeled "NOT MY GOLD": Who's going to check a box that says it doesn't have any gold in it?

  7. Inside the bathroom walls of a megachurch: Though you might have some trouble finding any space that isn't occupied by stacks of secret cash.

  8. The White House Oval Office: It's vacant right now, so you might as well use it.

  9. A WNBA game without Caitlin Clark: It's always smart to hide your valuables in a place where no people go.

  10. In Joe Biden's garage, next to his Corvette: As the Department of Justice said, it's a safe and secure place.

Do yourself a favor and take your gold out of that state-of-the-art safe behind your portrait of Donald Trump and put it in one of the places listed above.


NOT SATIRE: We live in uncertain times, in the United States, we are already experiencing record-high inflation, and not to mention the national debt has now surpassed $35 TRILLION. While paper dollars are suffering, one must also beware of the emergence of new digital currency, market warnings, and de-dollarization. The ability to protect our savings and hold onto wealth we can pass down gets harder every day. ONLY ONE ASSET has stood the test of time, Gold.

That's why Preserve Gold is sharing its free Precious Metals Guide. With 25-plus pages of detailed information, you can learn how Americans are using this little-known secret as a strategy to help hedge and diversify their retirement accounts. See how Preserve Gold can help protect your savings and retirement.

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