Have you ever noticed that Joe Biden has a funny way of speaking? From his endearing way of retelling events that never happened to his uncanny ability to make up new words on the spot, it's a fascinating testament to his abilities as a communicator. If only other presidents throughout history could do the same thing!
The Babylon Bee is here to provide the following glimpse at what it would have been like if other presidents spoke like Joe Biden:
- "Four score and seven… eight hundred… sixty-five million… billion million… years… anyway…": Honest Abe spitting numbers Joe Biden style is how it should be done.
- "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this...uh, you know... the thing!": A truly powerful moment in history from Ronald Reagan.
- "We choose to go to the moon not because it is easy but because my uncle was eaten by cannibals. True story, folks.": The space race was never the same after this gem from JFK.
- "Look, fat, get off my plane!": Who could forget this classic line from President Harrison Ford?
- "Yesterday, December 47th, a day that will live in infamanarathgary, America was attacked by the air and naval forces of the Empire of Mexico.": Franklin D. Roosevelt with one of the nation's most somber messages.
- "Ask not what your country can do for you… ask… ask what… ask not what you can do for… ask things.": John F. Kennedy with an inspiring word from a golden era of history.
- "That depends on what the definition of 'start quote' is 'end quote' is.": Bill Clinton got himself out of hot water with this shrewd observation.
- "Read my lips. No... new... hotel junk fees!": George H.W. Bush telling us all how to be prudent.
- "Speak softly and carry...ah...well, anyway.": The encapsulation of Teddy Roosevelt's foreign policy that has guided us for decades.
- "The only thing we have to fear is... pause.": No wonder FDR got himself elected an unprecedented four times.
So many inspiring speeches that could have been made even better if they were given in the unmistakable fashion of Joe Biden. It's too bad every president can't capture the same magic.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
