Brought to you by: Praxis
Yes, college is expensive and will saddle you with crushing debt in exchange for no useful life skills, but it's worth it, because it will make you smart.
Not convinced? Check out this list of brilliant college grads who will prove how helpful college is!
- AOC: One of America's foremost intellectuals, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has knowledge, wit, and wisdom that is as deep as it is wide. All thanks to her economics degree from Boston University!
- David Hogg: He's so smart, he knows guns are bad. Not everyone knows that. That Harvard education really paid off.
- The Unabomber: Another Harvard prodigy!
- Kamala Harris: In college, she learned all 12 of the words she uses in a speech.
- Lex Luthor: Thanks to his biomechanical engineering degree from Princeton, he gave Superman a real run for his money! What a guy!
- Everyone making your latte at Starbucks: Thanks to college, these bright young minds are probably the most educated people on earth who have ever made coffee.
- Joy Behar: She studied sociology at Queen's College, and it shows. Her brilliant insights on culture and the human condition are unmatched.
- The guy on the street corner with the sign saying "will work for food": Every word on the sign is spelled correctly!
- Judas Iscariot: The only disciple who went to Harvard.
- Joe Biden: The smartest president who ever lived. Thanks, college!
NOT SATIRE: Praxis is a year-long apprenticeship program that matches you with a full-time, paid job at a growing company. The program offers a direct route into high-potential careers for driven young people without the cost and hassle of college. Want to learn how it works?
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.