As though scales fell from Mark Zuckerberg's eyes, the tech magnate unveiled a set of changes that will be made to Facebook's content restriction policies in the coming weeks.
The Babylon Bee obtained an advanced list of 10 of the improvements to promote freedom of expression:
"Poking" will be brought back: This was once eliminated due to complaints from lame losers who did not consent to being poked.
Sharing a minion meme will now be a bannable offense: The long national nightmare is finally over.
It will now be impossible to unfriend Donald Trump: Just like in real life.
It will now be permissible to share news stories about Hunter Biden's laptop: Better late than never.
The algorithm will occasionally show you posts that actually do interest you: Not all the time. But even doing it some of the time is a huge improvement.
Only half of the recommended pages to follow will be Russian bots: The other half will be lizard people.
Your crazy uncle's posts about his UFO abduction are going to be visible again: Now this is good content.
The loading screen will be the dancing baby gif: Not because it's based or anything, but just because it's fun.
You will now be required to "like" the posts from your dad that show an upside-down picture with the caption "Meanwhile, in Australia": It's time for Facebook to bring families back together again.
Any post promoting seed oils will result in automatic suspension: America is back, baby.
What other changes can Mark Zuckerberg implement to Make Facebook Great Again? Leave them in the comments below.
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