After a bidding war, Netflix has secured a deal to buy Warner Bros. Discovery for a reported $82.7 billion. Once the deal is finalized, fans will notice significant changes to beloved WB properties like Harry Potter, Looney Tunes, and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.
After talking with industry sources, The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of changes coming to Warner Bros.:
Warner Bros. will be immediately rebranded as Warner Gay Black Sisters: A modern name to reflect a more diverse society.
Harry Potter's magic will now be powered by KPop: Death Eaters better run, run, run when we come, come, come.
Netflix, HBO Max, and Discovery will merge to create 17 more streaming platforms: For your convenience.
Only Bugs Bunny cartoons where he dresses in drag will be available: It's important for all content to fit Netflix's mission and message.
Three of the last five people who actually go to move theaters to watch movies will now watch at home: The times are changing.
The Superman franchise reboot will be rebooted: Finally, a new version that's different from the last new version.
Animaniacs will now be Transimaniacs: A lot less funny but way more disturbing.
Porky Pig will now have an even more lack of pants: If you thought it was a problem before, you haven't seen anything yet.
Movies in the theater will now pause to ask if you're still watching: It's a valid question.
Finally, Citizen Kane will feature a sassy black female lead: The story can now be told as Orson Welles always intended.
A whole new world of entertainment is on its way. Whether you like it or not. What changes are you looking forward to most? Let us know in the comments below.
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