U.S. — Controversy erupted today following Donald Trump's landslide election victory, as Democrats admitted that Trump actually won in 2020 and is therefore now ineligible to serve a third term as president.
In a shrewd move, Democratic Party leaders finally disclosed that Trump had, in fact, won the 2020 election against Joe Biden and has been the rightful president this whole time, rendering him term-limited and unable to take office in January.
"Yeah, he actually won a second term in 2020. Sorry about that," said Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi. "It's a real shame he already served two terms. Unfortunately, that means he wasn't eligible to run again, which nullifies Tuesday night's election. We probably should have been more up-front about the fact that we stole the election and Biden was never president, but oh well. Hindsight is 20-20. I guess Kamala wins by default now, right?"
Other prominent Democrats seconded the admission. "That's true, Trump was already elected twice," said Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro. "Trust me, I worked really hard to help steal the election and convince everyone that Biden won. So, even though Tuesday night was certainly an impressive showing by the American people, we're just bound by law to block Trump from serving what is, in actuality, a prohibited third term. Sorry, everyone. But, hey, congrats to Trump on that win in 2020."
At publishing time, Nancy Pelosi announced that she had retroactively filed articles of impeachment against Trump for the second term he should have been serving the last four years.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
