WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources, Elon Musk is preparing for his first day at the White House by hauling three wells to the door so he can knock and then say "Well, well, well."
"He, he, get it?" said Musk with a knowing smile. "Well, well, well! Hahahahaha!"
Several sources close to Musk say he's been trying to think of a meme that would top his famous "let that sink in" joke in which he lugged an actual sink into Twitter headquarters. They say he stayed up several nights coming up with the perfect pun for his government debut.
Staff currently serving in the White House were not amused. "This sort of disgusting, cruel, and inappropriate behavior is just further proof that Elon Musk is an existential threat to democracy itself," said Chief of Staff Jeff Zients to reporters. "There is nothing funny about dragging three literal wells to the White House and saying 'well, well, well.' Does he really think now is an appropriate time for laughter? Elon Musk should just leave well enough alone."
Elon is reportedly hoping the three wells will become a permanent decorative fixture on the White House lawn, commemorating his absolutely legendary decision to drag three wells onto the White House lawn and say "well, well, well."
At publishing time, Elon had also been seen dragging a table to the White House front door and then turning it over so he could say "Wow, it appears the tables have turned."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
