Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the darling of many on the left and leader of the progressive youth in Washington, DC, is once again causing many to scratch their heads as she attempted to put on makeup with a can of house paint.
"Oh my goodness," said her chief of staff, "Here we go again, another Saturday night makeup special." Despite her staff's best efforts, AOC still insisted on applying the very dusty yellow paint to her eyes and eyelids, leaving the poor team in a state of defeat. "At least the [House Speaker] Nancy Pelosi drone can override her chicken-scratch attempts at makeup," sympathized her hairdresser-slash-lifecoach-slash-therapist-slash-thermodynamicist, Gertrude Scrubb.
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