New York — Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the Queens Congresswoman, excitedly stepped into a mysterious looking booth in the Capitol Building this week, believing it to be a time machine.
The popular democratic socialist had found the booth on a tour of the building earlier in the week and thought it was a portal to the past. She jumped in the booth, equipped with a snack of 2018 ex lingonberry jam, eager to see what life was lived in the 14th Century.
Instead of being sent back in time, however, she was met with the loud grinding noise of what appeared to be a pencil sharpener. Shocked and embarrassed, Ocasio-Cortez dashed out of the booth, encouraging her tour guide to never speak of the incident.
"Dang, it's too bad we don't have actual working time machines," the Congresswoman mused as she dragged her feet back to her office.
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