LEESBURG, VA - As part of a new diversity and inclusion initiative, the Loudoun County school board has directed teachers to hang up inspirational "You Can't Do It! (due to white supremacy and systemic oppression)" posters throughout all schools to remind students of color that they will likely not succeed in life unless white liberals dismantle the systems of oppression designed to keep black people from succeeding.

"Don't worry -- we don't teach CRT here at our schools anymore!" said teacher Sandy Stout. "We simply teach that racism is baked into a system of capitalist whiteness that is designed to make it impossible for students of color to get ahead in life. We need our black students to know that America wasn't made for them and that they will likely fail at everything unless we white people successfully dismantle Western Civilization completely."

"It's a true message of hope for everyone!"

Other inspirational wall hangings being considered are:

• Take time to reflect on your disadvantage!
• Blame an oppressor today!
• You are powerless.
• 2+2=OPPRESSION
• Just say "NO" to microaggressions
• Don't worry-- white liberals will take care of you!

The school board reemphasized that they are not teaching Critical Race Theory but rather an honest look at the effects of racism on society throughout history.

"If you oppose this, you are a literal white supremacist," said Stout.