JOHNS CREEK, GA — In the middle of his normal routine of scrolling through X and binging Netflix for several hours each night, local man Jimmy Winters suddenly realized that he felt far from God for some reason.

"Why do I feel so far from God?" thought Jimmy to himself as he doom-scrolled the recent depressing controversies on the "For You" tab while Better Call Saul started playing from the beginning again. "Oh, people are dying in the Middle East again? Gotta check all the replies and quote tweets I guess. But I guess they aren't called tweets anymore. Whatever."

After getting caught up on the latest political and theological hot takes, some interesting historical videos of what cities looked like 100 years ago, and the first three episodes of Better Call Saul, Jimmy glanced up from his screens to notice his Bible collecting dust on one of his shelves.

"What was I thinking about earlier? Something I needed to do… oh well," thought Jimmy as he booted up some Cobra Kai before mentally preparing to go microwave up some Easy Mac for dinner.

At publishing time, Jimmy remembered that he was feeling far from God but noticed that there was some breaking news on X that demanded his attention again.

Want proof that Jesus was a woke socialist? Look no further than these classic quotes straight from the Bible.