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Humans are varied. Some are old, some are fat, some are from Kentucky, and others are from Kenya. Some can touch the tip of their nose with their tongue, and others can flatulate on command. We all have intersections of privileges and disadvantages. The point is not to see each of us as unique individuals, but to parse all of humanity into groups based on these obscure and often meaningless attributes so that a new minority group can be created.
So, to solve the problem of who's an innocent victim and who's a perpetrator of evil white supremacy, we came up with the intersectionality matrix. You want to land on as many intersections of oppression as possible.
So what's your oppressed identity? Use this handy chart to find out!
NOT SATIRE: The above article was a selection from our upcoming book The Babylon Bee Guide To Wokeness. It comes out November 2nd, but it is now available for preorder! Follow the link or click the icon below to get your copy! We had fun making this book. May it be your guiding light to woke virtue in a sea of evil fascists. Also, if you don't buy it, you're a racist.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.