It's the fourth week of November, which means it's time for us all to do a little introspection and consider what we are thankful for. The Babylon Bee made full use of its vast political and entertainment connections to ask a dozen prominent public figures what they are thankful for this year. Their answers may surprise you:
President-elect Donald Trump: "Kamala Harris."
Joel Osteen: "Tax-exempt status."
Meghan Markle: "Meghan Markle."
Mark Cuban: "The ability to delete posts on X."
Candace Owens: "Forget what I'm thankful for — what are THEY thankful for? And you know who 'they' are."
Los Angeles Dodgers: "The New York Yankees' defense."
President Joe Biden: "All those nice smelling feathers on that shapely turkey I just pardoned."
Jay Leno: "Advances in emergency medicine."
Tim Walz: "A chance to start my career over with the Radio City Rockettes."
Chewbacca: "RRRRRRAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWHHHHHH!"
Jordan Peterson: "Tailors willing to sew two halves of different suits together to make one suit."
Kamala Harris: "Black Friday sales at Billy's Wholesale Wine & Liquor."
The list above just proves that you're never too famous, successful, powerful, or dementia-ridden to be thankful. What are you thankful for? Sound off in the comments.
California transplants Steve and Timpani try to be the perfect Texas hosts for Brittuni's visit, but Steve quickly realizes he needs a sensible vehicle now that he's about to become a dad.
