TUCSON, AZ — Local man Dale Swanson declined to have his double scoops of mint chocolate chip and strawberry ice cream served in a delicious waffle cone, instead opting to have it in a blasphemous paper cup instead.
"I don't believe in waffle cones," Swanson told his friends. "They're sweet, they smell good, and they're too decadent. No, sir, not me. Give me my favorite flavors in a white paper cup with a sensible spoon. I want it to soak through bottom and get little tufts of paper all mixed in with the ice cream."
Swanson told the server at Ice Cream Palace to please give him his sweet treat in a plain old cup. The entire restaurant fell silent, with onlookers grimacing in disgust.
"The uncultured swine," said bystander Madeleine Barrow. "Waffle cones are what make life worth living. Should we stop serving hamburgers on buns? Stop serving cereal in bowls? The man is an embarrassment."
At publishing time, Swanson had refused to have his taco salad served in a crunchy tortilla and instead chose to have it on a paper plate.
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