LEXINGTON, KY - Local man Jared Stanton found himself increasingly unsure whether the guy next to him in church was crushing a complex harmony or just singing horribly off key.

"First he was a third-octave up, then a full octave, then he just lost me completely," said Stanton. "Either he's a remarkably talented professional choral singer or totally tone deaf."

According to sources, Stanton noticed his pew neighbor had strayed from the melody shortly after launching into "How Great Thou Art". Though the verse sounded pleasing enough, by the chorus it became progressively unclear if Stanton's neighbor was truly going for complex resolving dissonance or was painfully off key. "It just sounded really weird. Maybe I'm not musically inclined enough to appreciate such intricate harmony," wondered Stanton. "Or maybe he's really terrible at singing."

At publishing time, Stanton's neighbor had either begun singing a complicated new rendition of the male part for "I Surrender All" or suffered a terrible seizure.