WOODSTOCK, ME — Podcast host Tucker Carlson reportedly deflected blame over dirty dishes left in his kitchen sink on Tuesday, notifying his wife that they were placed there by Israel.
According to sources, Carlson's wife, Susan Andrews, repeatedly asked her husband to please rinse his dishes and place them in the dishwasher. However, according to Carlson, it was all the Jews' fault.
"I would never leave dirty dishes in the sink. Someone obviously put them there to create a divide between us — and it was obviously Israel," Carlson said. "Bibi Netanyahu is always leaving dirty dishes in sinks. Everyone knows this. It's common knowledge. And Trump won't do anything about it because he's a slave to Israel. Always has been."
Instead of helping his wife clean up, Carlson continued to rant about Israel interfering with his life and how their home was obviously bugged by Mossad. "Why do you think I want to move to Qatar? We'd finally have a clean kitchen!" he said.
When pressed on his evidence, however, Carlson admitted that he didn't know with any certainty. "I mean, I don't really know who left the dishes in the sink. It could have been me, I guess. I'm forgetful," Carlson said. "But isn't it more likely that a Jewish operative snuck into our house and put them there? I think so. Because it's obviously what happened."
At publishing time, the Tucker Carlson Network had published a two-hour interview with Candace Owens in which they discussed top-secret Mossad operations to make people's kitchens dirty.
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