WASHINTON, D.C. — In a stealth move aimed at rounding up as many illegal immigrants as possible, President-Elect Donald Trump was reportedly finalizing plans to set up taco traps around the D.C. area.
As part of his hardline stance against illegal immigration, Trump commissioned an expert team of engineers to devise state-of-the-art migrant traps consisting of a wooden box propped up by a stick with a string attached to it featuring tacos as the bait.
"This is the best way to get these illegal immigrants out of the country," Trump told reporters. "I should know, because I thought of the idea and all my ideas are the best. We take a taco, a little guac, a little lettuce, some beans, or whatever, and we put them under a box with a stick and a string. Fantastic idea, one of the best. Many people are saying so."
Trump unveiled his idea at a park in the D.C. area with a ribbon cutting on a taco trap near the Lincoln Memorial. The concept originated after Trump made a midnight run to Taco Bell with a few of his friends and advisors over the weekend.
Democrats immediately came out in opposition to the new initiative. "I think these taco traps are racist and I demand they be immediately removed," said Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. "Tacos aren't really even Hispanic. More Americans eat tacos than Latinos. Like, does Trump think a chalupa is actually Mexican food? Racist!"
The taco traps will reportedly be funded in part by the money the federal government is saving not having to pay for illegal immigrants' groceries, housing, and medical costs.
At publishing time, Trump also announced he would be budgeting to pay Mariachi bands to play the song "So Long, Farewell" from The Sound Of Music on all planes carrying deported illegal immigrants out of the country.
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