WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump welcomed a surprise guest to the Oval Office as Elton John, standing a surprising six feet tall, stopped by for the signing of executive orders regarding concert tickets.
As Trump surveyed the man standing next to him in a dazzling, skin-tight leather suit, he was shocked by how tall Elton John was up close.
"I always figured him to be a little guy," said Trump. "He always looked so small at his piano, with all the feathers around him, and the orange glasses. I couldn't believe it when he walked in today, how tall he was, and the hair -- whoa! They call him 'Rocket Man', that little fruit, or big fruit, I guess. Not a rocket man like Kim Jong-Un though, very different sort of rocket."
Though Trump admitted to never really liking Elton John's music, he was nonetheless pleased to see him stop by. "I don't care much for Elton's music, but he's an icon, him and his leather," said Trump. "It's nice to have such public support from a gay man like this. You know, I did like the music for that old show with the lions, 'The Lion King', with that little cub, what was his name? Simba. Sim-ba. And that funny monkey, he was quite a character. I did like what Elton did with that. I still can't believe how tall he is."
At publishing time, Trump had been surprised to learn that Elton John was once romantically involved with Pamela Anderson.
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