WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a thoughtful Thanksgiving address, President Trump reminded the American people to give him thanks this holiday season.
"My fellow Americans, you have a lot to be thankful for this year and it's all thanks to me, your favorite president," Trump began. "There are literally billions and billions of reasons to be thankful for me, so don't forget to give me thanks when you're sitting at the table with your family eating the most affordable Thanksgiving meal ever."
During the address, Trump utilized a helpful visual aid to show off all the cool things he did, ranging from closing the southern border to reducing inflation. He had also taken the time to draw some turkeys on the poster board, giving it a festive touch for the holiday.
"Hey, look at this turkey. I drew that. Isn't it great?" Trump said happily. "Way better than Sleepy Joe could draw. He was a terrible artist, everyone knew that. Had to draw turkeys with an autopen, if you can believe it."
Following the heartfelt address, lawmakers quickly criticized the president for what they considered authoritarian remarks. "I have long supported this president, but the Constitution guarantees every American the right to thank whoever or whatever they want on Thanksgiving," House Speaker Mike Johnson said. "Look it up."
At publishing time, the Supreme Court ruled that Trump cannot compel people to give him thanks, but he was well within his rights as president to ask for it.
Heartwarming!
