Politics
Trump Carefully Composing Tweet That Should Fix Everything

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Noticing all the problems the country has faced this year, from the coronavirus to civil unrest to general disunity, President Donald Trump has become determined to do something. That’s why, sources say, he sat down to carefully compose the perfect tweet that should fix everything.

“I have to get this just right,” Trump was heard muttering to himself as he sent another abandoned tweet to the drafts folder. “I have two hundred eighty characters to nail this and make everything better.”

Trump has tweeted a lot as president, and many have accused his tweets of often making things worse. But this time Trump is determined to use all his tweeting skill to bring the entire country together, meeting the potential of Twitter in a way it has never been used in its entire history.

“I have to get this just right,” Trump said. “Let’s see. ‘To all the losers...’ No. That’s not right. Ah. ‘To all the haters and losers...’ I’m nearly there. I can feel it.”

When Trump was last seen, he was still hard at work on the tweet, demanding complete silence, except for Fox & Friends playing on the TV.

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