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Politics
Trump Awards Medal Of Freedom To Legendary Golfer Happy Gilmore

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Trump has awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to legendary golfer Happy Gilmore.

Trump reportedly decided to give the award to Gilmore after catching a rerun of his incredible performance overcoming a 4-stroke deficit to defeat Shooter McGavin on the 18th hole of the Pro Golf Tour Championship. Trump was amazed by the performance and demanded that aides get Gilmore to come to the White House for a solemn ceremony where he'd be given the prestigious medal.

"This guy knows how to golf," Trump said in the solemn ceremony. "Mini-golf, big golf. He probably disc golfs too. Who knows what this guy can do? A very good person, maybe the best ever. Maybe the best."

"Nearly as good as me," he added.

The president also praised Gilmore's ability to play multiple sports, as he'd caught the golfer's performance as a waterboy and eventually star linebacker for the University of Lousiana.

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