WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Trump has awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to legendary golfer Happy Gilmore.
Trump reportedly decided to give the award to Gilmore after catching a rerun of his incredible performance overcoming a 4-stroke deficit to defeat Shooter McGavin on the 18th hole of the Pro Golf Tour Championship. Trump was amazed by the performance and demanded that aides get Gilmore to come to the White House for a solemn ceremony where he'd be given the prestigious medal.
"This guy knows how to golf," Trump said in the solemn ceremony. "Mini-golf, big golf. He probably disc golfs too. Who knows what this guy can do? A very good person, maybe the best ever. Maybe the best."
"Nearly as good as me," he added.
The president also praised Gilmore's ability to play multiple sports, as he'd caught the golfer's performance as a waterboy and eventually star linebacker for the University of Lousiana.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.