SEATTLE, WA — In a beautiful, heartwarming call for universal peace, liberals took several stolen, burning Teslas and arranged them to spell out "Coexist."
The fires burned for hours, sending massive plumes of smoke into the air, a signal to the world of the progressive desire for people of all backgrounds to live in harmony with each other.
"These torched cars show how serious we are about tolerance," explained local liberal Geoffrey Wendt. "Every firebomb we throw is a call for us to love and accept our neighbors, regardless of their beliefs or background. Can you smell that burning gasoline? That's the sweet smell of peaceful coexistence with all mankind."
Conservatives across the country instantly saw the error of their ways after witnessing the beautiful message spelled out in flames. "Wow. Maybe we really can live together in unity," said local man Bill Patton, as he watched his Tesla being burned. "It seemed like we were so divided as a nation. But, as I was dragged from car and beaten with a pipe, I finally began to realize that peace is possible."
At publishing time, liberals had sent another poignant message by spelling out "Justice" with the bodies of assassinated CEOs.
Mission accomplished: Satan has just confirmed that Jesus of Nazareth was crucified and will never be coming back.
