WASHINGTON, D.C. — Beloved presidential candidate Kamala Harris recently unveiled a touching new plan to hang a sign reading "Joy" over every bread line in America if she is elected president.
According to her speech, the sign would help encourage Americans who will be forced to wait in miles-long bread lines for a small government handout of watery soup and gluten-free bread. Several journalists have already embraced Kamala's plan, pointing out the morale boost it will offer the American people.
"It's brilliant, actually," said Jim Acosta, a reporter for CNN. "Americans are facing record rates of depression and anxiety because of sky-high inflation, national debt, and a tanking economy, which Kamala Harris had absolutely nothing to do with. Kamala's plan will rectify all of the problems caused by the previous administration and give Americans a sweet reminder of the ‘Joy' they'll be able to experience by chatting with their neighbors in the bread lines. It's policy gold!"
Kamala was unfortunately unavailable to give comment as she was needed for an urgent meeting in the White House basement. Most Americans have expressed their disapproval of the proposed policy.
"That's nice, I guess," said Paul Gerry, an electrician. "But what about fixing inflation or taxes? And why do we need bread lines anyway? Wasn't that like a Soviet thing? That doesn't sound fun."
At publishing time, Kamala had also unveiled a plan to paint the word "Peace" on every tank and armored personnel carrier that her administration will ship overseas.
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