NOGALES, AZ - In a touching gesture, Jill Biden visited a border holding facility and carefully decorated all the cages holding migrants with festive Valentine's Day hearts-- each one bearing a message of hope and unity.
"What a beautiful gesture," said CNN Anchor Brian Stelter as he wiped tears from his eyes. "It's so wonderful to have compassion and kindness in the White House again!"
"Just look at the looks on those kids' faces!" said Andrea Mitchell of NBC News as the first lady hung up a giant heart featuring the word "UNITY" on the chain-link fence keeping all the immigrant kids from escaping. "How lucky they are to receive a visit from our beautiful First Lady!"
According to several sources, immigrants being held at the border are thrilled to be held in compassionate migrant maximum security holding facilities rather than in "horrible cages" as the facilities used to be named.
"This is truly a touching gesture. It almost makes me forget I've been locked in a cage," said one of the migrant kids behind bars. "Just to think that the First Lady would think of me is so special"
Another one said "¡Sácame de aquí por favor!" which experts have translated to mean: "Thank you, Mrs. First Lady!"
(EDITOR'S NOTE: This article about the First Lady was written without the use of her proper title of "Doctor." While it's not our policy to change articles after they have been published, we sincerely apologize for this extremely hurtful oversight. The writer of this article has been terminated.)