Top 10 Questions The Writers Were Asked At Babylon Bee LIVE
· Premium · Mar 10, 2023 ·

With Babylon Bee LIVE now in our rearview mirror, all we're left with are the memories. The disappointingly cold Texas weather. The unplanned and somewhat unsettling in-person appearance of Cocaine Bear. And the deep, thought-provoking questions our team of writers fielded at the "Meet the Writers" table.

To commemorate our time spent being grilled by attendees, we've compiled a list of some of our favorite questions:

  1. "Where are the bathrooms?": One of the more popular questions we received, likely due to the fact that our table was appropriately placed right next to the rooms where people were relieving themselves of their body's waste.
  2. "I'm assuming you guys are all Presbyterians?": Correct. We're also all Catholics, we're all Baptists, we're all Calvinists, and we're also all Greek Orthodox. We take the Apostle Paul's "all things to all people" stuff pretty literally.
  3. "Can I get a refill on my drink, please?": Due to how small the sign above our table was, it may have appeared from a distance to read "Meet the Waiters."
  4. "Where are the women?": We had to repeatedly explain that, while we do have female writers, they had been sent to the kitchen to make us sandwiches.
  5. "Are you a writer?": This question, after being answered with a "yes," was usually followed by a nod of the head, a reply of "Oh," and the inquirer walking away.
  6. "Who wrote [insert headline]? It's my all-time favorite!": The answer: Kyle.
  7. "How can you all be so talented and handsome all at once?": Ok, fine, this one was just what we were asking each other.
  8. "I bet you guys make your wives laugh all day long, right?": The answer to this one is a resounding "yes," if by "laugh all day long" the person actually meant "alternate between rolling their eyes and quietly crying."
  9. "Does Kyle know all of you by name?": To save time and effort, Kyle refers to all of us as "Steve."
  10. "How can I get my headline published?": We're still trying to figure it out. If we do, ours would finally get published too.

Yes, it was truly an honor to share all of our writers' wisdom with you all at the very first Babylon Bee LIVE. We hope you all came away from the experience with a greater knowledge of why we're introverts and even our families try to limit the amount of time they spend with us.


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