The Filibuster And 9 Other Things We Always Considered To Be Racist But Just Didn't Say Anything Until Now
Faith Tips · Mar 26, 2021 · BabylonBee.com

The filibuster has always been a racist tool of white supremacy and oppression.

We just didn't say anything until now.

Along with the filibuster, we found nine OTHER things that are also racist, and we always considered them to be racist. We just didn't want to say anything until it was convenient.

Here they are:

1. The filibuster - We've covered this. But the filibuster is a tool of white supremacy, because it is hurting our chances to push our agenda. Really, anything that stands in our way is probably racist.

2. Having just nine seats on the Supreme Court - Anything short of having 156 seats, all Democrats, is racist.

3. Rice Krispies mascots Snap and Pop (but not Crackle) - Crackle seems alright. But those other two have always been a little sus. 

4. The keto diet - The only people who ever post about doing keto are white women. So it's racist.

5. Opposing segregation - If you oppose segregated graduations, schools, or drinking fountains, you're a racist. It's always been this way. We just didn't speak up until this moment.

6. Zoom meetings - We must banish these forever because they're, uh, racist. That's it.

7. Asking for ID - Asking for ID for anything from voting to buying alcohol is racist. But not buying guns. That's just common sense.

8. Microsoft Zune - The Zune is racist and it's a good thing it was canceled. Though we do miss playing Hexic.

9. Schrödinger's cat - Simultaneously racist and not racist. We're not sure.

10. Having a dream that one day people will be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character - This is probably the most racist thing on this list.

Check these things out, and if you enjoy or even tolerate any of them, remember, the true racist was inside you all along.

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