TATOOINE — A group of scientists on the outer rim planet of Tatooine have come to the realization that the planet's two suns might have something to do with its global warming issue.
"Our planet has experienced many years of harsh climate issues and unforgiving heat. After putting our heads together and really thinking about it, we surmised that maybe the two giant burning balls of gas we orbit around may be the issue," stated local scientist Tumar Sleezelag."I mean it kinda makes sense if you think about it."
The intense heat levels have already caused several issues amongst the inhabitants of this desert planet. Local Jawas and Tusken Raiders have reportedly begun wearing fewer garments to combat the extreme heat. "We know the heat has gotten too extreme when you see a Jawa walking around disrobed in broad daylight. It's an image you can't get out of your head," explained a shaken Sleezelag. "It's worse than anything an imperial probe droid could do to your mind."
Others, like local climate activist Greva Turdberg, are skeptical of the scientists' conclusion. "All these people flying around on speeders and those Sand People riding giant, hairy fart beasts are the ones contributing to the destruction of our planet!" said Ms. Turdberg. "Bantha farts have literally stolen my childhood! HOW DARE YOU!"
At the time of publishing, Tatooine officials were reaching out to a former resident with experience blowing up stars to help them with their extra sun.
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