My fellow Americans...
RREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! Bwwwarrrrrrrrr!!!! GARBULTHUUUUUUUUUU!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TrumpTrumpTrumpTrumpTrumpTrump TrumpTrump TrumpTrumpTrump TrumpTrump TrumpTrumpTrump TrumpTrump TrumpTrumpTrumpTrump TrumpTrumpTrump TrumpTrump TrumpTrump TrumpTrumpTrump Trump TrumpTrumpTrump TrumpTrumpTrumpTrump TrumpTrumpTrump TrumpTrumpTrumpTrumpTrumpTrumpTrump TrumpTrumpTrump TrumpTrumpTrump TrumpTrumpTrumpTrumpTrump TrumpTrumpTrump!!!!!!!!!!!
TRRRUUUUUMMMMPPPPPP!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
[sound of chair being thrown through office window]
BLITHRGREEEBRRRFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! BLARGuthulu EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
[rabid hyena noises]
And if something isn't done, we'll lose our democracy.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
