WASHINGTON, D.C—In an effort to be bipartisan, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has selected House Republican Hilliard Clintock for the January 6th Committee. Well known for his unbiased, objective assessment, Hilliard Clintock is expected to keep the committee on track.
“We must retain the confidence of the American people!” said Nancy Pelosi. “I can think of no person better than Hilliard Clintock. We can’t have someone biased with a strong vendetta against Trump or his followers on this council.”
“Clintock is a serious, fact pursuing congressman who will ensure the investigation is carried out fairly,” Pelosi added. “He’s definitely not someone hellbent on punishing people he views as deplorable.”
“This isn’t some witch hunt I’m signing up for,” said Hilliard Clintock. “I will not stop my investigation until they are all locked up. The guilty ones I mean.”
Clintock has promised to leave no stone unturned to get to the truth. “Already, we have rioters being held and interrogated at an undisclosed location. They are being kept for their own safety until we can find out how Trump made them do this.”
Hilliard Clintock says he hopes to make quick work of this investigation so he can get back to investigating the stolen 2016 election.